Practicing Love & Imperfection
Keep what serves you. Get rid of what doesn’t.
Lately, I have been reading through 1 Corinthians 13, and I have been learning a lot about what it means to live & love wholeheartedly from a biblical perspective. Last week, I finished reading a book called The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown and learned what it means to live wholeheartedly from a written perspective. Today, I would like to talk about what I’ve learned about what it means to embrace imperfection and choose love.
In Dr. Brené Brown’s book, I learned that acknowledging one’s imperfection and choosing love (that is love for God, love for self, and love for others) are key factors to helping us live the life we were created to live, not the life that everyone around us wants us to live. I titled this article “Practicing Love & Imperfection” because I truly believe that those are two key things we need to be effective human beings. They aren’t the sexiest words to culture, but they sure are to God. God loves us in our imperfection and I think often time we lose sight of that because culture tells us to be perfect…all of the time.
I fell into this mindset for pretty much all of my teen years and then in the beginning stages of my young adult life.
The Boxing Ring
Last year, I felt like I was thrown into a boxing ring. I was knocked down a couple of times, but I chose to get back up and try again. Once I arrived home for winter break, I was able to reflect on what the year 2020 meant to me, and to be honest, it felt like I was the newcomer in this match. I may not have gotten knocked down physically, but I did mentally. Direct hits from all angles, hearing the referee count to 10, and accepting defeat as the round goes to 2020.
January-February. “Welcome folks!…in this corner, we have a newcomer, weighing in 160 lbs from Rock Hill, South Carolina, it’s Skylarrrr Grrrovesssss!” January was the equivalent of just stepping into the ring feeling fresh, feeling excited, and ready to go. Things were smooth sailing from January into February and then March hits…
March-November. Whew. Now, this gets crazy. “What is this?…2020 throws a right hook and ohhh!…it connects and it looks like she might be out! Looks like she hit the mat pretty hard on the way down, Steve. Ohh, Ohh, OHH! Skylar suffers another blow to the stomach, then an uppercut to the jaw, things are not looking too good for our newcomer…” This was the tough season where I would get a couple of licks in, but by the end, I just wasn’t strong enough.
December. I love looking at it this way because once I hit December the fight was not over, it was just beginning. I got knocked down, yes, but more importantly, I got back up. “It looks like Skylar is ready for more folks. We’ve got one strong newcomer and she is not giving up or backing down. Look out world, we may have a new fighting champ on our hands.” In December, I took the time to retreat to my corner, wipe the blood from my lip, get patched up, get some much needed advice from my coach, and jump right back in. That’s where 2021 comes in. The clock striking 2021 might as well be the “ding, ding, ding” of a brand new round setting in. As for me? I am stronger, wiser, and better than ever. Put me back in coach. I’m ready.
By the end of the past year and into the new one, I was able to gather a greater sense of self. I would meditate on pieces of scripture like Galatians 1:10 which reads,
“Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.”
As the year closed out, I started to get my sense of self back, but in a new way. I am more confident than I have ever been. I am stronger now and a lot more aware of who I am in Christ. The world may need me to be perfect, but God does not. My boyfriend, Myles, took the liberty of writing this scripture on a whiteboard in a campus study room when I was needing that reminder the most. I thank God for that scripture and for that perspective. As I reached December, God was able to show me how complete I am just by being myself and I really think I need to remember that from now on.
As I mentioned above, I have been reading through 1 Corinthians 13. Verses 12–13 highlight how God understands that we are imperfect, for the scripture reads, “that we see in part.” We are not meant to have it all together and we are not meant to know everything. We live in a time of imperfection. It says it right there in the scripture. So take heart and understand that when you are given the notion that you have to be perfect, release it. Give yourself some grace, be kind, and simply release it. Ask God to help you carry your weight and your daily bread. Not His, not others, yours.
I broke it down into three of my favorite Bible translations because I think that it gives a deeper look into what imperfection is really supposed to look like:
Love, The Motivation of Our Lives
In The Passion Translation, 1 Corinthians 13:12–13 reads, “For now we see but a faint reflection of riddles and mysteries as though reflected in a mirror, but one day we will see face-to-face. My understanding is incomplete now, but one day I will understand everything, just as everything about me is fully understood. Until then, there are three things that remain: faith, hope, and love — yet love surpasses them all. So above all else, let love be the beautiful prize for which you run.”
The Excellence of Love
In the Amplified Bible, it reads, “For now [in this time of imperfection] we see in a mirror dimly [a blurred reflection, a riddle, an enigma], but then [when the time of perfection comes we will see reality] face to face. Now I know in part [just in fragments], but then I will know fully, just as I have been fully known [by God]. And now there remain: faith [abiding trust in God and His promises], hope [confident expectation of eternal salvation], love [unselfish love for others growing out of God’s love for me], these three [the choicest graces]: but the greatest of these in love.”
Love is the Greatest (GOAT status)
In The New Living Translation, it reads, “Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything just as God now knows me completely. Three things will last forever — faith, hope, and love — and the greatest of these is love.”
To achieve perfection is to be our own God.
If we were perfect, we wouldn’t need God.
So how can God bless us in our “perfection”? It can’t be done.
Give yourself some grace. You are exactly where you need to be. Let go of unrealistic expectations and just be. It’s kind of hard to wrap your mind around right? Yeah, it took a little while for me to get it too, but now that I do, I am free. I am free to live my life exactly how God anticipates it to be lived. I will make mistakes graciously, I will cry heavily, and I will love immensely. I will be beautifully imperfect and no one else gets a say.
And because we don’t know, it is all the more important to cling to the things we do know.
